So as i walked to the gate things just started goin through my head about the task at hand and what i was going to get on this flight for and i started feeling a bit better i just hate the fact i left my mom and alex and  i know they are gonna miss the hell out of me but all in all im down here for a purpose and that purpose is to help my cousin get better and to take time out to mke myself a better person and become the man i know that i am so i really have no regrets for leaving but there are alot of people im gonna miss such as Kevin & CJ you guys have been the best family a boi could have you have showed me that with effort and comitment you can do anything and that im more smarter than i know i am and i promise that the next time i come to nyc i will be more than what i left the city as im gonna be a whole new man with a neww lease on life cause i owe it all to the man upstairs he made thr path and i have begun to walk it and im gonna make him proud.

So i am now a southern bell, Georgia peach or whatever you wanna call it just know that the kid is gonna make yall proud and MLK WEEKEND IN ATLANTA is gonna be the 1st time i get shit poppin and continue it all with the swearing in of our new president obama.

So today is a brand new year and im starting it off just taking a look back at everything that went on in 2008 and i see one thing that makes me feel great about 2009 and that is no matter all the shit i went through somehow i grew everytime, i learned something new about myself, my faith and connection with God got stronger so baby im alright i know nobody is perfect and you have to make the best out of everything but to evolve and grow it takes wisdom and you will be put through many obstcules and we as humans are not strong enough to take on things we know we have no power over but we try and try again, but just stop “and let go, and let God”.

It Works Baby Trust Me On That.

ITS 2009  ITS TIME TO GET YA SWAGA ON.

THIS IS GONNA BE A GREAT MOVE I WILL BE POSTING ALOT OF VIDEO LETTING YOU GUYS KNOW WHATS GOIN ON AND WOW YOU JUST DONT KNOW HOW BLESSED I HAVE BEEN FEELING AND I CANT WAIT TILL I GET SETTLED IN AND BEGAN THIS NEW FOUND LIFE.

GOD IS A HEALER AND HE HAS MADE MY PATH REALITY I AM BLESSED NO MATTER ALL THE DRAMA I WENT THROUGH AND ALL THE HURT I HAVE RECIVED FROM MANY PEOPLE I HVE SO LET IT ALL GO AND MY SOUL FEELS GREAT BUT THERE IS ONE THING OUT OF EVERYTHING IM GONNA MISS AND THAT IS ANTHONY I HAVE PUT OUT THERE TO HIM THAT I NEED TO HAVE A SERIOUS TALK AND I HAVE SAID IT MANY TIMES AND I FEEL THAT ITS NOT HEARD AND THAT IS WHY I GUESS WE ARE NOT AS CLOSE AS WE USE TO BE, EVERYONE NEEDS THAT 1 PERSON THERE THAT WILL KICK YOU IN YOUR ASS AND MAKE SURE YOU DO RIGHT LIKE YOUR BACKBONE THATS WHAT I HAVE BEEN NEEDING FOR ALOT OF TIME BUT ALL I GET IS EVERYONE TELLING ME WHAT I NEED TO DO WHY I NEED TO DO IT AND WHEN BUT WHEN THE TIME COMES I DONT GET THE PUSH LIKE LET ME EXPLAIN, IF YOU KNOW YOU GOTTA GO TO CHURCH AND THAT MORNING YOU ARE STILL IN BED THAT PERSON IM TALKING ABOUT WILL CALL YOU EARLY THAT MORNING AND TELL YOU TO GET THE FUCK UP AND LETSGO OR THEY WILL BE AT YOUR DOOR AND MAKE YOU GET UP THAT WAY THATS ALL I EVER WANTED JUST SOMBODY TO BE THERE WITH ME BOY OH BOY GOD HAS BEEN THERE NO MATTER WHAT AND ALL OF THIS HAS BEEN A LESSON TO ME AND THAT IS TO NOT EXPECT ANY THING OUT OF ANYONE CAUSE I TEND TO HURT MYSELF IN THE LONG RUN YES YES YES I HAVE MADE MISTAKES LIKE CRAZY AND DONE THINGS I HATE MYSELF FOR BUT THEY HAD TO HAPPEN THEY HAD TO GO DOWN I HAD TO CRY I HAD TO HURT BE DISSAPOINTED BECAUSE IM NOW STONGER THAN EVER I HAD A SERIOUS DRUG PROBLEM AND WAS TOLD WHAT I NEED TO DO  OVER AND OVER BUT NOT 1 TIME WAS THERE ANYBODY IN MY CIRCLE THAT SAT DOWN WITH ME TO A CUP OF TEA OR ANYTHING AND TALKED TO ME ABOUT ANYTHING SERIOUS AND TO ME I FEEL IM NOT REALLY LOVED BY THEM AND IT HURTS IT MAKES STEVEN NOT QUEST RUN AWAY AND I BEGIN TO GO WHERE I CAN GET AWAY FROM IT ALL AND I GET HIGH AND REGRET I GET HIGH AFTER THE HIGH IS GONE BUT NOMORE BABY IM OVER IT I KNOW THE PLACE OF EVERYBODY AROUND ME CAUSE I HAVE PUT MY HANDS UP HIGH AND ASKED GOD TO SHOW ME WHAT I REALLY NEED TO SEE AND I BELIVE HE HAS SHOWED ME .

THE DAY BEFORE I LEAVE WILL BE MY 28TH BIRTHDAY AND I HAVE NOT MADE ANY PLANS FOR IT AND THIS IS THE 1ST TIME I HAVE EVER BEEN A FEW DAYS AWAY FROM MY BIRTHDAY AND NOT MADE ANY  PLANS OR HAVE ANYBODY MAKE ANY FOR ME AND YOU KNOW THAT HURTS LIKE HELL BUT WHO CARES ITS MY BIRTHDAY NOT THERES SO I PLAN TO SPEND MY BIRTHDAY PACKING TO LEAVE I WILL MAKE ME A SMALL CAKE AND SING HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MYSELF AND CELEBRATE MYSELF AND GOD PLUS I DONT MEAN ANY DISSRESPECT TO ANYBODY IN MY CIRCLE EVERYTHING I WRITE HERE COMES FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART AND I MEAN WELL IM JUDT LETTI NG IT BE KNPOWN WHAT I HAVE BEEN FEELING FOR A LONG TIME I YEARN FOR REAL LOVE AND I WANT SOMEBODY BY MYSIDE WHO REALLY WANTS TO BE THERE AND SHOWS IT WITHOUT ME SEEING IT WITH MY OWN EYES I WANNA FEEL IT IN MY HEART CAUSE I TELL YOU THIS THEN I AM DONE………….

I HAVE KEPT ALOT OF PAIN IN MY HEART AND TODAY IM LETTING IT ALL OUT THE BEST WAY I KNOW HOW CAUSE I HAVE TO CLEAN MY SOUL ILL CRY LIKE HELL AS MUCH AS I CAN ABOUT EVERYTHING THAT I NEED TO SO I CAN RELEASE IT ALL AND MOVE ON LORD IT HELPS ME AND I DONT FEEL LESS OF A MAN TO CRY LOVE AND PEACE TO YOU ALL AND MY NEXT ENTRY WILL BE FROM THE SOUTH AS I EMBARK ON A NEW BEGINING AND I HOPE THE PEOPLE IN MY LIFE UP HERE READ THIS AND UNDERSTAND CAUSE IM NOT GONNA LOOK FOR ANYTHING MORE OR LESS OUT OF ANYBODY CAUSE I CANT ANYMORE.

I have been getting some good comments from you guys and to tell you the truth it means alot to me that you have taken your time out to give me feedback and trust me i read it all, i wonder alot if anybody really gets what i be writing cause it comes from the heart its not just words i just pop up on here they are my true feelings and i use my blog as a outlet cause your comments help me getthrough it all.

I really feel great right now things have been going so well and im so proud of myself, i have learned to go with the flow of what has been happening and understand that the lord is making my path clear so my blessing can have a easy route to me and i get it cause thenegative people around me are dropping like fly’s and thats a sign that they dont need apart in my life cause they block my blessings and they way i havebeen treated by them hurt alot but you know what I FORGIVE THEM cause my soul cant be clean as the lord wants it to be if i keep hate laying around cause the best way to kill negative karma is with positive karma and i feel now more than ever i can do anything i put my mind to.

P.S.

GET YOURSELVES READY FOR JANUARY 20TH 2009 WE WILL BE SEEING THE MOST HEART WARMING EVENT IN HISTORY AS WE SEE THE 44TH PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES SWORN IN TO OFFICE AND HE’S AN AFRICAN AMERICAN MAN FROM THE ISLAND OF HAWAII AND HIS NAME IS PRESIDENT BARAK OBAMA.

Im not gonna say anymore about it cause i know what to do